No Time for the Tears
When I left my house this morning, I felt good…I looked good. My make-up was flawless and that always makes me feel better about my day. It’s amazing what a little M.A.C. can do for the soul. At any rate, I now look a bit like a ragamuffin. I have, in the hour since I left home, cried off the majority of my (normally waterproof) mascara and most of my eyeshadow…the liner is hanging on for dear life. ;-)
Mamacita and I got into a fight last night…I’m still not sure what sparked it…to outward appearances, it would seem that the cause was dissention over the controversial issue of: banana bread. Yeah I know there is way more than that to it. My guess is that she is realizing that I am moving in just over three weeks. No, I’m not going far, but she has adjusted and actually really enjoyed that I lived with her again. The last time I was gone was a bad situation…the turmoil takes longer to record than I currently have time for.
Suffice to say if history is to repeat itself, we’re in for one hell of a shitstorm. She hasn’t spoken more than ten words to me since our argument…I actually don’t care, because I know that her issues are hers…I know she’s projecting, I know we are both stressed…but the whole combination was enough to break me down this morning. I called my dad and managed to get through most of my story without crying and then…I just lost it.
So there I am, driving down the 5, bawling and talking to my dad on my phone…praying like crazy that I don’t get pulled over this morning. (Although, any cop who pulled me over would probably escort me to wherever I was headed, I was so pitiful.) I am hoping that this day gets better, but I’m not holding my breath…cyanotic blue isn’t my best color.
I still haven’t really slept…the dreams are getting worse…but they still don’t fit together any better than they did yesterday…so I will continue to wait…hopefully, I’ll have something happier to write about later today…I will look for some silver lining…maybe I’ll be smiled upon today…
***Update***
Here is my horoscope for today: We're all feeling restless at the moment, but in your case, that restlessness officially pertains to your home and family situation. Even if you were just fine about it yesterday, today's new Moon will definitely get you thinking about what life might be like if ... Of course, you're going to be the purveyor of change, so if your family members start asking what's next, why not let them in on your plan?
posted by Audrey @ 10:18 AM
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