Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Let The Sun Shine In

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I am in such a good mood and my spirit it so very light today. I was up until 6:30 this morning sitting in my living room catching up with Dean who was one of my best friends from high school and whom I hadn't seen since before I moved to San Diego...until last night.

As I've said before, Dean and I were inseparable my sophomore year (his senior) he was my confidante, my protector, and the person who probably knew me best...he's always had a way of looking past the surface of me and straight into my soul....and vice versa. We were each other's 3 am phone call when things got rough...we've been through a lot together.

He's always had his demons...basically if it was trouble, he was in the middle of it. But he's always had an amazing heart and while he's one of the toughest men I've ever met, he is also the gentlest.

Anyway, some stuff went down a couple months before he was to graduate and because he was already 18 the school kicked him out...I was devastated. I felt so lost...anyway, he drifted around for a while and eventually we lost touch...if ever one of us desperately need the other, we would always somehow find the other person.

Until recently, the last time I talked to him I was living in San Diego...he got ahold of my number somehow...neither of us is sure how...but he called me while I was sitting on the beach trying to hold my life together as all the pieces were spinning out of control. Dean knew, long before I told him, exactly what was going on with me.

Then, he was gone again...until about a week before I went to TN. We started talking but life kept intervening so that we didn't have a chance to actually sit down together until last night. Dean and I talked from 9:30pm until 6 this morning. We would have talked longer if my roomates hadn't been getting up to get ready for work already.

It was one of the best nights I can remember. We just picked back up as though nothing had changed between us though we are both far different people now. From the moment I saw him, I felt lighter, more at peace, I felt as though the pieces made sense again.

I've not found any man with whom I feel as safe as I am with Dean. No one else has ever made me feel quite so cared about or understood...not even Clark. As close as Clark adn I were emotionally, spiritually and mentally it was never as unclouded as it was with Dean.

Dean and I were never anything other than friends...though much of our high school would have begged to differ. But I am so thankful that I have him in my life again, even if he's only passing through. As long as Dean and his quiet spirit walk this earth I know that all things are possible.