Thursday, June 30, 2005

Certain Connection

When Clark can’t sleep, I can’t sleep…it sucks…even when he is completely out of my life in the physical sense, somehow we are still connected. I can’t explain it, and I can only begin to understand it…the same is true for him…and it scares him to death. I am far more comfortable with our “understanding” of one another, as it were.

Before me, he had never felt a connection to another human being this strong…or this deep…that’s not unusual, really…most people never have this type of connection to another. If I’m hurting…he knows…the same for me when he is hurting. If one of us is in danger, the other knows…close calls even register…even when there was an entire continent between us, we knew.

I guess I should start this story at its beginning. I have premonitions…not about everyone…but I have them frequently, and I’ve never been wrong. I have always been able to tell the difference between a dream and a premonition. In high school is where I became very conscious of my premonitions and the impact I could have in the lives of others.

I’m sure there are many skeptics out there, and that is perfectly ok with me. I’ve probably heard it all by this point…I have been called crazy and spooky; I have been asked if I was a witch. The answer is of course: No. I don’t just “see” the future…it’s specific…you can’t just ask me a question and I turn into a crystal ball. That’s not how this works. The point is, until Clark, I had NEVER had a premonition about someone I didn’t know. I have had them about people I have never “met” but they were (and are) all people I “know”.

My stories of premonition and cosmic connection do have their own bond…the first person I was connected to, as deeply as Clark, was a dear friend of mine: Dean. He and I made absolutely no sense on paper…not even as friends. But we understood each other so well…we rarely needed words. We were never anything more than friends…it would have screwed things up, I think. But we knew each other’s souls inside and out. We eventually lost touch…but we still have a connection…the last time I heard from him I was still living in San Diego. I was at the end of my emotional rope and I was actually about three hours from my nervous breakdown. He called me out of the blue (mind you, I had never given him my new cell number, he just found me) and he told me he knew what was going on…he spelled it all out for me…there was no way he could have known…I know this because NO ONE he knew had any idea that I wasn’t well.

I was sitting at the beach the day he called…I was just staring at the ocean, contemplating how I could keep my life from completely crumbling…I heard my phone ring…and I just knew it was Dean. It didn’t have a special ring…I had no reason to know he would call…and I hadn’t heard from him in over a year. But it was Dean, of course…and I knew I wouldn’t have to explain anything…and I knew he wouldn’t need to say anything…that’s just how we worked.

Enough about Dean though, thinking about him, makes me sad….so I move on…back to my story. I always thought it was crazy to be so connected to another human…and if I had that once in my life, that was more than I should have ever dreamed, right?

Apparently I was wrong…because that’s exactly what I found with Clark. Even before I knew him…

I got to know Clark in the spring of 2003 while he was stationed at Ft. Lewis in Washington. He was the best friend of my cousin’s hubby, James. I knew nothing about Clark except his name…literally, that is all I knew…and one night I had a premonition…so I called my cousin TG the next morning and I told her that I had something I needed to get to James…but I needed him to not freak out about it. So I told her exactly what I had seen…and she agreed that James needed to know.

So, I called him…I was afraid he would think I was insane...or just dumb at best. But he believed me…he thought it was crazy, but he said that he would pay attention and get back to me.

For the record, it happened EXACTLY as I told him it would…here’s what I saw:

I saw Clark, in perfect detail (and yeah he really does look like the man I saw)…he was in a bad mood about the day and was looking for a fight. He had been joking around with one of the other soldiers and out of no where, something set Clark off…it was some argument about ordering pizza. He got agitated and was ready to throw down with the guy…who apparently didn’t realize that Clark wasn’t playing anymore. I then saw them start to full out wrestle…I then saw James jump in between them and pull Clark off the other guy…about thirty seconds later the first sergeant (the one without a sense of humor) walked up…had James not stopped them, Clark would have been written up and it would have caused him massive drama. I then saw James explain to Clark why he needed to settle down and that everything would be more clear in the morning.

That’s when I woke up…the story I relayed to James had a lot of holes in it…I didn’t want things to play out because he knew…but rather I wanted him to be aware of what was going to play out. All the details I gathered from James after the fact matched what I saw exactly.

Two days later I started talking to Clark…and the connection was already set…that first night we talked for five hours…it was as if we had both known each other forever…after all of the ups and downs we have been through in the last 2 ½ years…I have no doubt that this connection will last. Regardless of our “relationship status” we will always care and understand the other person.

I have many, many more stories along these lines…where the connection between Clark and myself is readily evident…these will come out soon I’m sure…but enough for right now.

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