Friday, January 13, 2006

Out of the Blue

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Last night I received a phone call I wasn't expecting. Grace and I were sitting in the living room watching a movie and her cell phone rang. The caller ID listed a San Diego number that neither of us knew. As the phone rang, the image of a friend flitted through my mind...I brushed it sense getting my hopes up for nothing. Grace answered and soon mouthed the name of the caller. I was in shock...not because I knew who it was but because I didn't think I would ever hear from this one again.

After a minute or two, Grace handed me the phone...I said hello and waited for the familiar voice on the other end. My prodigal son had come home. For the first time in nine months, E called. I have missed him more than I can say. He apologized for the hell he put me through last year and we moved past it all. It was good to know that he missed me as much as I did him. We talked through a lot of things, we both cried some and we moved forward.

E made me cry, he told me that his heart has been completely wrenched this year because he hasn't been able to talk to me and then wasn't sure if I would talk to him. We have been through hell together in the last almost five years. He was the first one I told when I was going to have to leave San Diego...we know each other better than most people will ever know either of us.

Anyway, I knew before he ever called that if I were to ever hear from him again it would be for one of three reasons:
1) someone died
2) his marriage was struggling
3) he was deploying to the Sandbox

Well, two out of the three apply. I was deeply saddened to know that his grandfather passed away...I loved that man, such a wonderful and gentle human being. And, as one of my worst fears was realized, E has his deployment date. He leaves in August. I guess it's a good thing I already know what to expect...we are both going to need that this next year.

I am glad that he's got his life mostly together and he's happy. He's scared about deploying and I am terrified for here we go again. I can't say enough how grateful I am to have a built in support system in my Fabulous Service Sisters.

My heart is both lighter and heavier today. I am ecstatic that E and I are on our way to having that friendship again. It is good to know that I am still the one he looks to when he's struggling...we've always been that for each other. I also wasn't expecting to go back onto a deployment rollercoaster this year. Well, as always one day at a time...I will be happy about the little things...I have my kindergartener back. I can't ask for more...