Thursday, October 20, 2005

Staring and Speeding

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Ok ya'll, I am indeed hosting Seven Inches of Service again this week. However, due to unexpected circumstances (aka life) the posts won't be up until tonight or tomorrow. Don't give up on me just yet though, I promise the posts will be worth waiting for.

Since that item of business is cleared up; I have been doing a lot of thinking recently. Probably more than I should...but c'est la vie. Yesterday was a really long one for me. I got done with work early, but I also had to teach fire cadets last night. We did search and rescue training. The kids all had fun, I think.

I spent some time talking to Joan and Rie and I met T for coffee. It was a lot of fun. I enjoy hanging out with T. He makes me laugh and I love that we can talk about just about anything. I had to send T off to pick up a friend at the airport and as I was driving home I raced a couple of teenage guys in their little hot rods.

As I was driving, I started thinking...all of a sudden memories of the "old days" with Clark flooded my mind...the days before the drama. I was taken back to one sunny afternoon and the drive we took all through the hills and up the 101. I wrote about that day once before.

Things you said that day
Up on the 101
'Bout a girl who'd come undone
I tried to downplay it
with a bet about us
you said that-
you could take it
as long as I could,
I could not erase it
Way up north I took my babe
all in all was a pretty nice day
and I put the hood right back where
you could taste heaven perfectly
feel out the summer breeze
didn't know when we'd be back
and I, I didn't
didn't think we'd end up like...
like this

Anyway, as I thought about that day a few memories stood out so vividly. There I was, sitting next to Clark in the bitch (that's what I called his race car...I have this theory that all men have a bitch and it really ought to be their cars); I can hear the roar of the V8...the Borla exhaust...faint sounds of Kid Rock coming out of the monster speakers...I even hear the song. It was "our" song...not the one we picked but the one Clark hoped we'd never have to be...irony is a bitch... I can feel the wind in my hair because the T-tops were off...cruising the back roads at a buck twenty.

Clark liked to play the drive and stare game...if ya'll don't know what I mean, go watch 2 Fast 2 Furious. Clark used to do that to me all the time because I was the only person who would hold his gaze. That day, we were flying down the road and he took his hand off the gearshift to interlock his fingers with mine...I knew what that meant...I turned slightly in my seat until I was facing him...our eyes locked and I felt the car speed up. We held each other's gaze for quite a while before we broke to look at the speedometer. I won't tell ya'll what it said, you'll just yell at me.

I remember the surprise in Clark's voice when he commented that I hadn't even blinked and was it possible that I really trusted him so completely. It was such a foreign concept for being the smartass I am, I joked that i knew I was safe as long he was in the car...after all, he'd never endanger the bitch. ;-)

I have always loved the wind in my hair and the sensation of speed...doesn't look like that is going to change any time soon. Don't even get me started on the smell of diesel or the purr of a powerful engine...ah memories.

Tons of Songs at!