Closer to Fine
Sometimes I get so frustrated with life in general. The last 48 hours have been one confusing mess after another. My mind has been pulled in so many different directions that I can't possibly keep up for much longer. Yesterday, Miss Joan wrote about people that drain your energy. I can relate to that right now.
As most of ya'll know, I haven't slept much in the last couple weeks. I can't slow my brain down...and when I finally go to sleep, I dream...not the dreams of a rested mind either. I seem to be wandering through the minds of so many others these days.
Jean stayed at the house last night, and thank God she did. I needed her...she understands the chaos that is the current state of my mind. We discussed a good many things, and while my heart is still heavy and my mind still restless, she took some of it from me.
I slept for about four uninterrupted hours last night. I know that sounds pitiful for the normal person, but ya'll, that's a good stretch for me. I still hurt...body and soul...and I still don't have any of the questions answered; but I feel stronger today.
So, thank you, Jean. I hope the burden you took wasn't too much. Rie, I hope you got some rest as well.
On a related note, I talked to TG for a while today...it seems that Clark has been able to confide in her this week. That is a relief to me as he has disappeared from my sphere the last few days. As long as he's talking to one of us, I don't worry. Though it would be nice if he could keep it together long enough for us to have a shot. C'est la vie...for the time being anyway.
I was listening to Guns n Roses this morning. The song that follows keeps sticking into my brain this week. As with so many others, Clark, this one is directed at you.
November Rain
When I look into your eyes
I can see a love restrained
But darlin' when I hold you
Don't you know I feel the same
'Cause nothin' lasts forever
And we both know hearts can change
And it's hard to hold a candle
In the cold November rain
We've been through this such a long long time
Just tryin' to kill the pain
But lovers always come and lovers always go
An no one's really sure who's lettin' go today
Walking away
If we could take the time to lay it on the line
I could rest my head
Just knowin' that you were mine
All mine
So if you want to love me
then darlin' don't refrain
Or I'll just end up walkin'
In the cold November rain
Do you need some time...on your own
Do you need some time...all alone
Everybody needs some time...on their own
Don't you know you need some time...all alone
I know it's hard to keep an open heart
When even friends seem out to harm you
But if you could heal a broken heart
Wouldn't time be out to charm you
Sometimes I need some time...on my
own Sometimes I need some time...all alone
Everybody needs some time...on their own
Don't you know you need some time...all alone
And when your fears subside
And shadows still remain, ohhh yeahhh
I know that you can love me
When there's no one left to blame
So never mind the darkness
We still can find a way
'Cause nothin' lasts forever
Even cold November rain
Don't ya think that you need somebody
Don't ya think that you need someone
Everybody needs somebody
You're not the only one
You're not the only one
Oh, and tomorrow I have to be at the fire station all day. Should be interesting...I will write about last weekend's Hurricane Fundraiser later on...maybe even some pictures will follow.
posted by Audrey @ 4:38 PM
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