Smiling Through Sleepiness
I am absolutely exhausted today…I couldn’t fall asleep for anything last night. I crawled into bed around 11 because I was tired when I started out yesterday…unfortunately, my brain had other ideas…actually, ideas were precisely my problem. Nothing useful of course, but my brain was moving at about a million miles a second. If anyone else out there is manic (or has manic tendencies) then you know exactly what I’m talking about.
I couldn’t even entertain the possibility of sleep until about 3:30 am. I drifted back and forth until about 5 when I finally passed out until my alarm went off at 6:45. I tried to go back to sleep, but the house line kept ringing off the hook. I managed to fall back asleep after burying my head under several pillows to drown out the light and noise. Of course I woke right up again at 7:45 when my second alarm went off and my brain was ready for action once again…my body cannot keep up with my brain these days.
In the four or so hours I couldn’t even pretend to sleep, I read about half of Jenna Jameson’s autobiography. It’s quite good…for those who don’t know, it’s called How to Make Love Like a Porn Star: A Cautionary Tale. Speaking of the name…you can tell a lot about a person by how they associate names.
As most of you know, Jenna is my full name, though only people who don’t know me well (and Clark who liked my full name better than the shortened version) call me by it. Professionally I use my whole name because it cuts down on the misspellings, i.e. Gina, Jennifer, Joan, Jana…people can really make an art form out of butchering names.
Anyway, I digress…when clients call, I tell them my name…and the responses I receive vary based on the demographics of the caller…it usually goes something like this (provided that they get my name right in the first place)…
older clients (male and female) oh, Jenna, like the girl on “Dallas”!! (Which actually is where my name originated).
There are the younger female clients: Jenna…oh like that girl in that really cute movie (“13 Going on 30”) or slightly more creative...oh Jenna like that chick from "Blossom"…
and then the guys: "Jenna, hehehe, so…are you like really named after Jenna Jameson?"
Umm…yeah how did ya’ll guess? My parents named me after the porn queen…who incidentally wasn’t famous when I was born…the funniest part is how all these guys think that their joke is somehow original and rather clever. Sometimes I’m polite enough to at least push mute before I make fun of their stupidity.
Some people’s kids…
Ok so I had lots of time to think last night as I stared at the ceiling…As usual, when I can’t sleep at all, thoughts and memories and questions about Clark surface…no I’m not going to wax poetic about the “good old days” or whatever you want to call it…but the truth is, I still can’t shake him completely out of my head. I do pretty good most of the time anymore, but when my subconscious is in control…well he apparently still has a hold there somewhere…all that thinking led me to two songs…so today there will be two songs posted. This first one is:
You Were Meant For Me ~ Jewel
I hear the clock, it's six a.m.
I feel so far from where I've been
I got my eggs and my pancakes too
I got my maple syrup, everything but you.
I break the yolks, make a smiley face
I kinda like it in my brand new place
I wipe the spots off the mirror
Don't leave the keys in the door
Never put wet towels on the floor anymore' cause
Dreams last so long
even after you're gone
I know you love me
And soon you will see
You were meant for me
And I was meant for you.
I called my momma, she was out for a walk
Consoled a cup of coffee but it didn't wanna talk
So I picked up a paper, it was more bad news
More hearts being broken or people being used
Put on my coat in the pouring rain
I saw a movie it just wasn't the same
'Cause it was happy and I was sad
It made me miss you oh so bad 'cause
Dreams last so long
Even after you're gone
I know you love me
And soon you will see
You were meant for me
And I was meant for you.
I go about my business, I'm doin’ fine
Besides what would I say if I had you on the line
Same old story, not much to say
Hearts are broken, everyday.
I brush my teeth and put the cap back on
I know you hate it when I leave the light on
I pick a book up. Turn the sheets down.
Take a deep breath and a good look around
Put on my p.j.’s and hop into bed
I'm half alive but I feel mostly dead
I try and tell myself it'll be all right
I just shouldn't think anymore tonight 'cause
Dreams last so long
Even after you're gone
I know you love me
And soon I know you will see
You were meant for me
And I was meant for you
Yeah.... You were meant for me and I was meant for you.
posted by Audrey @ 10:46 AM
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