Making Sense of Insanity
"when ain't nothin' goin' right,love will be your soldier.
when all you can do is cry,
love will be your soldier.
when no one's around,
love will be your soldier.
when your world is tumbling down,
love will be your soldier." ~Nikka Costa (of course)
**Despite what you read below, I will survive, I know that**
Ok, so my post is late today...in fact today has turned into tonight...but it has taken me this long order my thoughts in any meaningful way. Today has been nonstop craziness. There was work...it was alright, oh, FG is speaking to me again, and at least there was nothing that taxed my brain too terribly.
Then as I was headed back from lunch with mamacita and ogre, G called. Her mom is in the hospital back home in Canada. Everything is alright, they're just keeping her for observation, she should be home in the next couple days.
As I was hanging up from that call, Jean beeped through. Some days, mass transit sucks...today was one of those days. So, I drove Jean's history final over to school for her. As I searched for the office, I loudly proclaimed to anyone withing earshot that buildings shouldn't be art, they should be functional!! I'm sure I had Frank Lloyd Wright rolling in his grave, as I know I received distain from several people around...none of whom had offered me directions as I was obviously lost!! (I actually do appreciate good architecture but not when it precludes me from finding the office I need)
In between all of the chaos, it was never far from my mind that I haven't talked to Clark since Tuesday afternoon, and tomorrow is the hearing. Both of our lives could change drastically in the next 24 hours and I may not even know about it until much after the fact.
It scares the hell out of me. It truly does; and I have been sick to my stomach all day. Well, actually it started last night, as poor Rie found out as she had to field the stream of questions. (Thanks Rie) As ya'll know, I worry about Clark...with good reason sometimes...and this is one of those times.
I can't talk about what I don't know. Suffice to say that it breaks my heart to watch the people I love suffer. Now believe me, I am very much a fan of justice...as much as I appreciate grace, my first instinct is towards justice. Anyway, it hurts me to see Clark's past decisions continue to haunt his future...and by association, mine...though I am far less concerned with myself than I am with him.
I am praying to know more soon...if you think of it, say a little prayer for Clark...he's gonna need it tomorrow.
The preceding image is from Post Secret. It's not my secret (I mean I didn't send it in)...but it could be one of mine...
posted by Audrey @ 8:24 PM
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