I have Been Blessed
As I read through my emails this morning, it came to my attention once again that I am truly and wonderfully blessed…if I sound like I complain a lot, then I apologize because the reality is…I am a happy person. I have incredible friends and a wonderful family.
I was reminded of this when I got an email from Miss Jess this morning…she was asking and answering her “Random Questions of the Day” so I am deciding to give you my answers here:
1) what words are most hurtful to you?
The normal derogatory words don’t bother me…I have been called bitch more times that I can count and hooker is a term of endearment…I hate being called “woman” in fact there are only a handful of men who can call me that without protecting their favorite body part….I mean, there are the things my mom says sometimes (yeah I know, I shouldn’t let her get to me, but I do). I would like to say that I’m as evolved as Miss Jess and that there are only a couple of people who could hurt me with their words…but sometimes that’s just not the case…let’s face it, I may have older siblings, but when it comes down to it…biologically I am still a first-born…and yes I am still coming to grips with the knowledge that I will never be perfect. So if Miss Jess is mad at me, or TG is mad at me for that matter, whatever words they choose will hurt me. Clark has a way of being able to hurt me with his words, because I do care so much….he is actually related to the one phrase that can rip my heart out if it’s said by someone who’s opinion I value…calling me an “East Stockton Bitch” will rip my heart out if I know you mean it…see that’s what I was called by the random fool (yeah that’s the most ladylike thing I can call her) when I found out that Clark was cheating on me…It didn’t really hurt when she called me that because she has no value in my life…but those little words represent a lot of pain for me. I mean, FG calls me that when we’re joking around, but the people who love me know that calling me an East Stockton Bitch is almost unforgivable if it’s said in anger.
2)who has the right to call you on your bad choices?
There are very few people who I allow to tell me when I am wrong…oh you can tell me, I’ll just ignore you…my siblings all can in different areas, and some of my closest friends can pick specific areas…but Miss Jess probably has more right to tell me I’m being stupid or making bad decisions then just about anyone…mostly because we’ve been through so much in our friendship…deployments will do that to ya…the other person though, is my dad…I respect him so much, and he rarely pries into my life…he expects that because I am a grown-up I will act like one…and he’s always given me the benefit of the doubt. Because of that, I have always been pretty straightforward with my dad…and if he tells me I’m wrong…I listen…I don’t always change my behavior…whether they realize it or not, when Dad or Miss Jess tell me something…believe me, I listen.
posted by Audrey @ 10:30 AM
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