Thursday, July 28, 2005

Only in Cali

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This cracked me up...I know a lot of you are going to just read and nod...you know what i'm talking about...I thought this day could do with some humor. So here you go; enjoy.

You Know You're From So Cali When:

  1. You're driving on the 101 and see a clear cut definition of where the smog begins and ends
  2. You go to a karaoke bar and battle with seven year old divas-in-training who are trying to steal your thunder
  3. You're sitting in traffic for at least an hour at any given part of the day
  4. You go to the beach and see that real lifeguards actually do look like the lifeguards from Baywatch
  5. You see purple and gold and the word "Threepeat" on every corner
  6. You begin to "lie" to your friends about where you are (i.e. "Yeah I'm like 20 minutes away") - when you know that it'll take you at least an hour to get there).
  7. You eat a different ethnic food for every meal
  8. You look around at the nice cars around you during traffic, thinking it'll be your favorite Laker or WB star.
  9. You make a conscious choice to watch Jay Leno over David Letterman
  10. You know it's best not to be on the 405 at 4:05 pm.
  11. Getting anywhere from point A to point B, no matter what the distance, takes about "twenty minutes".
  12. You've inadvertently learned Spanish.
  13. You've got to bring the cat/plants in when it drops to 55 degrees.
  14. In the "winter", you can go to the beach and ski at Big Bear on the same day.
  15. You've bumped into a celebrity at El Pollo Loco.
  16. You know what "sigalert", "PCH", and "the five" mean.
  17. Your pizza delivery guy is also on contract with Warner Bros.
  18. If your destination is more than 5 minutes away on foot, you're definitely driving.
  19. You have a gym membership because it's mandatory.
  20. Your TV show is interrupted by a police chase.
  21. You know someone named Freedom, Rainbow, Persephone or Destiny.
  22. You've trespassed through private property to get to the "Hollywood" sign.
  23. You've partied in Tijuana at least once.
  24. You don't stop at a STOP sign, you do a California Roll.
  25. You've lost your car in the Century City Shopping Center parking lot.
  26. You've ever bought oranges, flowers, cherries or peanuts on a freeway off-ramp.
  27. Calling your neighbors requires knowing their area code.
  28. You eat pineapple on pizza.
  29. You've been to Disneyland more times than Downtown.
  30. When giving directions , you follow up with the phrase: "With/Without traffic." You classify new people you meet by their Area Code.
  31. An "818" would never date a "562" and anyone from "323" or "213" is ghetto/second class. Best area code: "310."
  32. Driving along, you see a high-speed police chase approaching in your rear view mirror. You don't panic or even flinch. Instead, you call your friends on your car phone and tell them you're on TV.
  33. You know that if you drive two miles in any direction you will find a McDonald's or a Starbucks.
  34. Your cell phone has left a permanant impression on the side of your head.
  35. You never, ever go into the water at the Beach. You barely touch the sand.
  36. Everyone you know has 3+ phone numbers. Home, Office, mobile, pager, two-way, voicemail.....
  37. It is not unusual for your waitress at a restaurant to have blue streaked hair, a dragon tattoo and tounge piercing.
  38. You are awakened in the middle of the night by a moderate earthquake. Your reply: "That ain't even a 5-pointer" and go back to sleep.
  39. You think you are better than the people who live "Over the Hill". It don't matter which side of the hill you are currently residing, you are just better than them, for whatever reason.
  40. You live 10 miles from work. It takes you 60 minutes to get home.
  41. Walking out of Jamba Juice, you see that a movie is being shot on-location across the street. You are not happy, or even slightly exited that there may be a movie star there. You just say, " They f*ckin better not be blocking my parking space."
  42. You personally know at least 3 people who have been in a movie or TV show.
  43. You know what In N Out is and feel bad for all the other states because they don't have any.
  44. You know that not everyone in Beverly Hills is a millionaire.
  45. You know who the tinsel underwear dude in Venice Beach is.
  46. The guy at 8:30 in the morning at Starbucks wearing the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney IS George Clooney.
  47. Any invitation comes with, "Starts at 8pm or as soon as you can get through traffic." You have never met a waiter that wasn't really an "Actor."
  48. You call 911 and they put you on hold.
  49. The waitress asks if you'd like "carbs" in your meal.
  50. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from So Cal.
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posted by Audrey @ 3:33 PM