Wednesday, May 02, 2007

The Full Moon and an Extra Helping of Crazy

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I never intend for so much time to pass between posts. It's not as though I have writer's block...or that I am so insanely busy that I don't have even thirty seconds to hammer out a quick post. It's really more a matter of slowing my mind down long enough to write coherently.

So I guess I should start from the top.
  1. Recovery: I have regained sensation throughout my body and the nerves in my spinal cord are working overtime to repair themselves. Along with the regeneration of nerve and synapses connections, I am also having severe muscle spasms in my upper body. I have been assured that, while not exactly normal, these spasms are quite common with the type of spinal cord trauma I sustained. I have muscle relaxers targeted specifically to these types of spasms and I am generally better than I was a month ago.
  2. Work: I am back almost full-time in the office. (As a side note, I was finally able to sublet a parking spot from a coworker and now I only pay $200 a month instead of $400!!) I have been busy with more projects than I can count, but I have also had to opportunity to work with a couple of truly fabulous people whom I love dearly. The last week has been spent developing a "Train the Trainer" briefing for the Training and Exercise Planning Workshops our office is responsible for teaching to the agencies we work for. It's been a definite learning experience and I'm hoping that my work now will reflect positively in the future when I apply for an Exercise Coordinator position.
  3. Love: Adrian and I are doing much, much better than we were a few months back. Adrian is almost back to himself and he and I are happy together. In the recent weeks, he has been all the things I need him to be,and it's started to restore the faith that I have been so lacking when it comes to believing the men I love will be there when I need them.
  4. Life: I don't have much of one, socially at least, these days. My life seems to be consumed with work and surviving...and sometimes Adrian. So, I decided that my birthday a couple weeks ago would be the perfect time to have a little fun. I don't usually celebrate my birthday in any big or meaningful way...and after this year's debacle...I remember why. It was beyond a comedy of errors...beyond an exercise in Murphy's was straight into a disaster of Biblical proportions. I don't want to rehash it all, but suffice to say that half the people I care about bailed on me at the last minute or made my life so difficult that weekend that I wished they had bailed. Actually, of my friends in this area...I think Jean, Grace and Adrian are the only ones I am still on good terms with. Birthdays are completely overrated. I remember that now. Maybe if the birthday was that bad, the year will be really good. I have hope that is the case or I would give up now.

On to the crazy part...I know it's a full moon and I know that my life has been a bit out of wack lately, but I think I had an extra helping of crazy today. I woke up fuzzy-headed and by the end of the evening tonight I found myself wanting to crash my car into anything and everything. I didn't hit anything or anyone, so ya'll can relax...I just wanted to is all. Perhaps tomorrow will be better...maybe I will feel more human can only hope.