Deep Disquiet
It’s a gorgeous day, but I am in a horrible mood. I don’t really know why yet. Nothing jumps to mind, but I have been cranky about little things that normally wouldn’t even register on the drama scale. I don’t know what my problem is, but I have been bitchy to lots of people…the worst part: I don’t feel bad about it.
I know that I should…but I don’t. I haven’t completely detached or anything…not yet anyway. I haven’t been sleeping well again. But that isn’t the only source of my bad mood…it’s deeper than that. I don’t have words…not yet.
I mean I have an idea, but I don’t know how to verbalize what I feel in my spirit. It would take too much explanation and I don’t have the energy. Maybe soon…I don’t know.
There are so many unknowns within my soul right now. I’m not used to that. I usually know why I feel what I do; and whether I choose to share that with others or not, I know what’s going on in my heart and mind. Not today though. I should be in a fantastic mood. It’s Friday after all.
Even though my paycheck sucked I have enough money to pay rent, car insurance, and most of my other bills…in fact, I think I even have some money left over to start paying G back. That should make me happy…and it does…but it isn’t overriding this deeper disquiet.
Hmmm…maybe I’ll see something soon…
posted by Audrey @ 2:22 PM
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