Musings of an Empress

Here's to Business Trips

I survived Long Beach in one piece, and I actually can't wait to go back in a couple weeks. We have a three day conference next month and my boss (the one I like) and I are flying in early to take a road trip to Mexico before we have to work. We figure if we have to travel all over...we might as well travel all over. I'm so excited; it's been forever since I've been to Mexico.

I'm still completely swamped with the After Action Report and we are hoping to have a draft version completed by February 1st. We'll see how that goes. It's over 400 pages right now and there are still several sections left to analyze.

While we were in Long Beach last week, I sat around with a bunch of the guys from my office and several drinks. As usual, after a while the conversation turned to work and all of the great things we are trying to accomplish in the Exercise Planning this year. Out of nowhere, one of the guys, the one in charge of Large Stadium Initiatives, asked me if I want to be an Exercise Planner. The conversation went something like this:

Captain E: Audrey, have you thought about being an exercise planner?
Me: well, of course, I think it's something I would want to do.
Captain E: I'm serious about this, would you want to be an exercise planner?
Me: Well yeah, I would someday.
Captain E: How about next year? How about it Chief? I told you Audrey would be interested. And hell, I'd work with her to make it happen.
Chief W: Audrey, I think you would make a damn good exercise planner and if I get my way then you will certainly have learned by osmosis by the time this year is over.
Captain E: Hell, I'd be her assistant if that's what it takes.
Chief W: Well, then it's settled. Let's see if we can't get everything lined up this year and get Audrey a planning gig for 2008. Do you want Tahoe or Los Angeles?
Me: How about San Diego?
Captain E and Chief: We'll work on it!!

I may love this place after all!! I may actually, after all the drama, have a shot at a real career...here's to hoping. I know it's all talk at this point, but it was really nice to have two men I really respect say flat out that they think I could go this job. Did I mention that it would be a seven pay grade jump?

posted by Audrey @ 10:04 PM |

And For My Next Trick

The travel for my job now begins in earnest. from now until the first week of March I will be traveling between two and four days a week, all over the great state of Kahlifornea. I leave tonight for Long Beach. This week it's a Mass Transit Security Seminar. I have decided that from here on out I will disavow all knowledge of the rare and mysterious gift called typing. My scribe skills are starting to be the bane of my existence.

Anyway, on the up side, it's supposed to be 74 degrees in Long Beach tomorrow. I may not get to see the sun for very long, but I will know that it exists and that might just be enough for the time being.

I still have another project to finish this afternoon and then I have to go home and pack. Good thing I didn't wait until the last minute. hehe.

posted by Audrey @ 2:11 PM |

When MOH Asks

It seems that recently, all I've been doing is talking about myself and even what I'm saying has become ridiculously redundant. It's high time that I stop wallowing and look outside myself for just a moment. So that's what I did. And not a moment too soon.

Miss Joan has asked for some help for a fellow blogger, the one and only Sgt Hook, who besides being a stand-up guy has been damn nice to me over the last couple years, even though he never had to be.

Well, I have the chance to help do something good, so when MOH asked for a favor on his behalf, no wasn't even a word in my vocabulary. So, here's the deal. Go. Vote early and vote often!!! This is for Hook after all!!

posted by Audrey @ 5:41 PM |

hmmm

We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are. ~Anaïs Nin

Sometimes simple truth is the most potent...

posted by Audrey @ 6:23 PM |

When I Apply Myself...

The days seem to just drag on right now. In some ways it feels like life is sailing past; but the things that really matter, well time practically stands still. Professionally I’m doing well…or so I hear. I’ve gotten great feedback on all the projects I’ve completed. In fact, I was tagged this week to work on projects specifically for the General. The Deputy Directors have been requesting me for a while now; their positive reception of my work is gratifying and I really need that to stay in this job.

We had an ORISE team meeting today and my project manager (read: guy who hired me) told me that there is a position, identical to the one I hold, opening in Tennessee. Actually, it the exact job I wanted when I applied back in April last year. My boss told me he would put in a transfer request if I wanted it…I turned it down. No questions asked. I just said, “No thank you”.

Maybe it was a mistake; but I don’t think so. If I left right now it would be wrong for several reasons.

1. Right now I would be using this as an escape from the parts of my life that I’m not happy with


2. There is no way that Oakridge could offer me the opportunities of professional growth that I already have here


3. G-ma and G-pa are back on this coast so my major reason for moving is no longer valid.


4. Moving right now would be nothing more than an escape from the parts of my life that I’m not happy with

[redundancy is intentional here, kids]
I get to start with a new boss in just over two weeks, after our After Action Report is on the Governor’s desk and I can’t wait. I will be shadowing the Exercise Director through the planning and execution of the Statewide Full Scale Exercise in November. Working for a loud retired firefighter is right up my alley. We get along great and being a multi-tasker is definitely coming in handy. I swear he’s yet to finish one sentence before he’s on to the next thought. Anyway, I’m already getting to have a hand in all the processes involved in putting together statewide disaster preparedness exercises.

I’ve been throwing myself into my work even more than normal to make up for the fact that Adrian and I have been having a rough patch…or at least he’s been having a rough patch. I don’t know much and I don’t want to talk about what I do know…it’s tough enough to acknowledge it in my own mind. But when my personal life is up in the air…my professional life flourishes. Fortunately there is enough work to keep me busy and my mind mostly off of Adrian…at least between the hours of 8 and 6.

I would also like to take this opportunity to plug the amazing quality of MAC make-up. I spent about 15 minutes driving and crying this morning and when I got to Starbucks, my make up was still perfect…the only telling feature was the redness of my eyes. When I got to work, no one was the wiser. MAC rocks, period.

Labels: Breakfast at Tiffany's, Charade

posted by Audrey @ 9:48 PM |

100 Things

Ok, so I stole this idea from the fabulous Miss Joan it just took me longer (as usual) to write it. So here is an almost entirely new list of things.

1. I'm an Aries/Taurus Cusp kid. I was born directly in the center of the "Week of Power" which should explain a lot.


2. I used to speak fluent Spanish…I even dream in Spanish when I'm really tired.
3. While I was in college I taught myself Latin. I also read and comprehend French.


4. I lived in N. Hollywood for a while. The city sucked...the apartment rocked. You can see it in Fast and the Furious.


5. I used to be head of PR for an independent clothing company…we had a huge celebrity following but the start-up capital wasn't there and the company folded despite its popularity.


6. I used to live in Mexico every summer...if I could move back there for good I would do it in a heart beat.


7. My scariest moment happened before my senior year in high school. I was almost kidnapped in Mexico. I was dragged two blocks and down some stairwell before anyone got to me. If one of my friends hadn't been there...I wouldn't be here now. To this day I will not willingly set foot in Tijuana.


8. I like a man who knows how to use his hands; in fact, hands are one of the first physical features I notice on a man.


9. My favorite place to watch a sunset is the Ferry Landing in Coronado


10. My favorite artist is Shano; my favorite poets are Viggo Mortensen and Henry Rollins


11. I was born a firstborn...but after my parents adopted or took in other kids, I am now a third born....I'm still not used to being bossed around.


12. It’s been three years, but when I tell time my brain still automatically calculates the time in Iraq.


13. I see other people's dreams all the time. Sometimes more vividly than they see it themselves...it used to scare me.


14. I dream walk...I have since I was 5 years old. It gets kinda crowded in my head sometimes.


15. There are three people I feel to the core of my being at all times.


16. If given the opportunity, I would trade my opposite soul for what’s behind door #2.


17. I wasn't always an insomniac. It started when Clark went overseas…only recently has my body readjusted from Operation Iraqi Freedom time.


18. Other girls intimidate me sometimes. Guys make more sense to me.


19. I am irrationally terrified of lawn gnomes. I really do freak out if I see one unexpectedly.
20. I'm also afraid of green parrots...I don't like birds, but it's mostly green parrots that scare me.


21. The first concert I ever went to was the Moody Blues when I was three.


22. I am a recovered anorexic purger. I don’t ever get on scales. If required to, I face backwards and close my eyes…just in case.


23. I have colored my hair since I was 11...I don't actually know what my "natural" hair color would be now.


24. I was a competitive cheerleader when I was a kid. Then, I coached cheer in college. I was also in colorguard in high school. (I know MOH is cringing to read this) ;-)


25. I was a ballet dancer for 12 years. I passed all my examinations through the Royal Academy of Ballet, London. That means I fall gracefully.


26. I quit dancing to ride horses competitively. I own two horses but I haven't ridden since high school.


27. I have broken all of my toes except my big toes. (Some more than once). I've also broken three ribs, my tailbone and my elbow....only a few of these happened because of my clumsiness.


28. The only food I really crave is California burritos from Santana's. They only have Santana's in San Diego County…well, and sometimes I crave chiliquiles


29. My house in San Diego almost burned down in the fires two years ago...the dirt lot was all that saved it....most of the neighborhood was damaged or destroyed


30. I used to sing karaoke every week with professional drag queens


31. I'm still friends with my kindergarten best friend (I'm her daughter's godmother)


32. My first boyfriend is now a professional bull rider


33. I can't stand wearing anything other than a g-string during the day.


34. I am a die hard football fan. I love my 49ers in the good years and the bad. You don't want to see me if is miss a game. I live for football season.


35. I got hooked on basketball the year the kings got Mike Bibby. It was coincidence...but now he's my favorite player. He also lives in my home town


36. I used to be a seatfiller and crowd controller for awards shows. I don’t get to go anymore because I have grown-up responsibilities.


37. I LOVE to drive. Driving fast relaxes me.


38. Lancers are my favorite car...if I had a million dollars to spend on a car...I would still buy a Lancer....it would be the Ralliart Edition though or the Evo VIII. (I don't like the new ones)


39. Doc Holiday (the best known vocal coach and producer in Hollywood) told me I had a great singing voice. (He caught me singing Michael Jackson songs in the hallway of a hotel when I was working security)


40. I still love cartoons. Rocky and Bullwinkle are the greatest. I even named my Pomeranian Natasha Fatale (we call her Tiny) because I loved Rocky and Bullwinkle so much. She was the greatest villain…did every thing in heels and full make-up and her hair was always perfect.


41. I've gotten the suicide call from someone I loved. (He's actually ok as far as I know)


42. Except for pot, I have NEVER done any illegal drug. Pot was only twice and I have an adverse reaction to it...it makes me aggressive and downright mean. I can't even get contact high


43. A contact high was the reason I got kicked out of a Tim McGraw concert...I got in a fight with a dumb bitch who was picking on some kids.


44. If it weren’t for Adrian and the new job, I would move to Chattanooga TN in a heartbeat...other than that I wouldn't want to leave Cali...except maybe to go to Mexico.


45. I have never smoked a cigarette in my life.


46. My extended family is really close...my cousins are like my siblings.


47. It takes a lot to offend me. I grew up in a fire house and it shows. It’s actually the only way I can survive where I work now


48. I make less money as a contractor working for Homeland Security than I did working as a receptionist at a seafood distribution plant.


49. I hate sleeping alone. I sleep much better with someone else. Staying with Adrian is actually what ended my insomnia.


50. If I could quit my jobs for a year and have my bills taken care of I would go get my mechanic's license.


51. I free-lance as a make-up artist and I would quit my job tomorrow to work for MAC.


52. I only wear MAC make-up and I convert everyone I come into contact with.


53. I almost never leave the house without full make-up on…I figure that other people have to look at me too.


54. It pisses me off when people don’t even bother to brush their hair before leaving the house.


55. I love tall heels. I have probably 30-40 pairs of tall heels.


56. I've been told that I should work for a 900 number


57. I won't date a man who is shorter than me...I'm only 5'3...I don't think that's asking a lot


58. I used to be a compulsive weight lifter...I used to bench press my body weight...the decline is my favorite...


59. I got out of running stadiums in high school because I bet my PE teacher I could out bench her...I did and she didn't make me do stadiums for the rest of the year


60. I've been an EMT since I was 18 and I LOVE EMS work…I thrive under pressure.


61. I will sacrifice of myself if someone I care about needs me. I am loyal to a fault. I stand up for the people I care about to my own detriment.


62. I used to skip class in high school to go beat old men at pool.


63. I got kicked out of my parents’ house on a routine basis from the time I was 15 until I was 21. (the last year I didn't live there but they still had my stuff) To this day I’m not quite sure why they kicked me out most of the time.


64. It doesn't bother me if strangers make assumptions about me but it pisses me off when my friends do


65. I am much better at long distance friendships than I ever thought I would be


66. My grandma is one of my biggest heroes. I want to be like her


67. My biggest struggle with organized religion is the hypocrisy of other "Christians"


68. I am completely left-handed...I only have a right arm so I don't appear unbalanced


69. I don't believe in rebound relationships. Two reasons: 1) there aren't enough good ones to go fucking them up with drama 2) if he's not one of the good ones, then I don't want to waste my time


70. My English teacher during my senior year of high school is the reason that I went to college and that I understand my faith.


71. I wish I had even a fraction of the writing ability of MOH.


72. I rarely like “chick flick” movies, but every once in a while, I fall in love with a cheesy Hallmark movie.


73. I despise working with women…I love that my current job has me working with 28 men and three females.


74. I relate to everything through music…I only wish I could be as articulate with my own thoughts.


75. Sahaj Ticotin’s voice has gotten me through all of my tough times since I first heard him six years ago.


76. I’m not particularly superstitious, but I do think that much of my recent drama is because I broke my rearview mirror two days before Christmas.


77. I’ve lived near the Napa Valley for much of my life, but I despise all wine I’ve ever tried…I just never acquired the taste.


78. My libido could power a third world country…I think that intimidates some of the guys I hang out with.


79. If I ever get married, I want a Mardi Gras-type wedding…based on several of Shano’s paintings.


80. Most people are surprised to find out that I only have one tattoo and I only got that one recently.


81. One of the best pieces I’ve ever received came from my dad. He told me, “Always remain childlike without being childish.”


82. My passport only has one stamp in it and I think that is a tragedy. I want to fill all of the pages.


83. I have a tendency to quote movies…frequently.


84. Halloween and Christmas are my favorite holidays.


85. Almost every weekday (and some weekends) for the last six months I have gotten a venti unsweetened black iced tea from the same Starbucks. I won’t hardly darken the doors of another Starbucks…I love mine too much.


86. I love to cook but I hate to eat whatever I’ve made. I would much rather feed others.


87. I met one of my old roommates on a street corner in San Francisco.


88. It grosses me out not have my toenails painted….they are always red or burgundy.


89. I collect Rosie the Riveter stuff…the more unusual the better.


90. I really want children…whether I give birth to them or adopt is immaterial.


91. Most days at work I’m afraid that someone will realize that I am completely unqualified for my job and take it away from me.


92. Some days I wish they would and then I could go back to just being a receptionist.


93. I almost mailed a postcard in to Post Secret, but before I could, someone else mailed in the same secret as mine…the same way I was going to.


94. The last three places I’ve worked have nicknamed me porn star names.


95. A man growling in Spanish is one of my biggest turn-ons.


96. One of the biggest compliments I’ve received recently was being told by a spec ops soldier whose specialty is psychological warfare that I read people too well for mind games to actually be effective. He told me that very few people can see through him like I could.


97. I have failed “sensitivity training” before. I didn’t get offended at the right things and I said the wrong things out loud…personally, I think that’s how I get along better with people.


98. I used to spend my summers in “Tornado Alley” in Kansas…I’ve never been scared of tornados; but I’ve always had an unnatural fear of basements…I talked my parents out of buying a giant Victorian house one time because I was so terrified of the basement I wouldn’t set foot back inside that house.


99. There are very few words that really bother me…most are racial slurs…the others would surprise most people.


100. I firmly believe that a person can’t be happy with anyone else until they can be completely happy with themselves. Sometimes I wish I didn’t believe that so strongly.


101. I get scared at times that I will never have someone love me as deeply as my dad loves my mom.


102. The things I fall in love with person for are things that most people don’t even notice. For me, it’s the little things. Like with Adrian, it was actually his hands and the laugh lines around his eyes and the light that emanates from him that made me find him so very beautiful. I believe that you have to love a person for their flaws not in spite of them

Labels: The Nun's Story

posted by Audrey @ 12:01 AM |

2007

Happy New Year!!

I don't believe in resolutions; I figure, if there is something that I want to change about myself then I should just change it. There is no reason to wait around for a new year to start. However, I do have a couple wishes for the new year.

1. It is my hope that each and everyone of you has a year of peace, joy and friendship.
2. I wish for MOH and I to grasp all the happiness and love there is to be gained from this world. It's our turn to shine, MOH.
3. I want to see the beauty in the little things this year, even with thr stress of everyday life.

I don't think I'm asking or expecting too much from this next year...only what I know is very possible. I enjoyed the second half of 2006 and I've decided that I'm looking forward to the start of 2007.

Love and light to all of you.

posted by Audrey @ 1:16 AM |