Musings of an Empress: February 2006

Friday, February 24, 2006

Fruit Loops, Dirt and Monkeys

Five Thousand Years
by Viggo Mortensen

It's a long, long way
made of stone
from Omaha to Cairo.
From the riverbank
through the dying fields
across the sea
to the bloody quarries
where they keep digging
for rulers
while school bells
echo
North and South
off the twin brown
mirrors of the Missouri
and the Nile.

Reading this poem made me think back to my first semester of college after high school. (I phrase it like that because I took college classes while I was still in high school.)Anyway, I took Physical Anthropology with Dr. Monkey-man (as we called him) who just happened to have one of the cutest teaching assistants i have ever come across. Jim was smart, funny, incredibly hot, a closet punk and...an archeologist?

Besides music most people have never heard of, his passion was archeology...at the age of 24 he had already been on some significant digs in this country. I loved listening to him talk about what they had found and how important it was to preserve this history for future generations.

He was of the philosophy (much like Kalohe) that the reason we have knowledge is so we can share it with others. That said, the man spent hours upon hours teaching me to understand genetics. For a smart girl, I was completely dull when it came to genetics. I failed that particular section twice in high school. But he was convinced that I could learn if only someone took the time.

THat class required us to log many, many observation hours at the local zoo. (I can tell you more about chimpanzees and lemurs than I would care to admit) Well if his students had to be there then Jim would be there too. We spent hours watching the chimps, talking about life and relating genetics to real life.

I did learn enough to pass the class and I did eventually understand genetics...everything I need to know can be summed up with a box of Fruit Loops.

It's been years since I have seen Jim, but everytime I read about an important dig I look to see if he's gottent he break he was waiting for.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Sickness Sucks

Poetic, I know. I have been sick off and on for the last four days and it's getting old. Friday night I had a migraine of Bibilical proportions. I'm only slightly exaggerating...I haven't been that ill from a migraine since I was 14. I was so sick I even left Clark and Kalohe unattended at the bar to go home and sleep. THe night ended up being fun for everyone else...so that makes me feel better. More on that story later...I don't have the energy for it right now.

Monday night I started to come down with a cold or something and by yesterday morning, I was completely ill. I didn't even move from bed until 3 pm. I tried...but I couldn't get the energy to even move. Today is better, I am back at work...but still not feeling great.

I apologize for all the phone calls, emails, texts, and visits I am behind on. I will eventually get caught up...but either be patient or expect to turn blue. I can not afford to stay sick.

On a positive note, I had a little time to read this weekend. I have three books started (as per usual) right now. I am reading: The Secret Language of Destiny, Savage Peace: Americans at War in the 1990's and The Portable Henry Rollins. Excellent reads all. I am hoping to finish at least a couple of them by the end of the weekend. I know Savage Peace will take longer...it's a very in-depth and technical read, but fascinating all the same.

Friday, February 17, 2006

Trust What You Know

This song fits perfectly.
It's time to give it a chance...face the fears...embrace the possiblity...see what it's really supposed to look like. We've never let the other down...now is not the beginning of the end. But rather the last beginning we'll have to make until the end. Neither of us walks alone. We aren't the only ones who believe either. Everyone who shares the space has faith in us...that is enough incentive for me.

Come take my hand
You should know me
I've always been in your mind
You know that I'll be kind
I'll be guiding you

Building your dream
Has to start now
There's no other road to take
You won't make a mistake
I'll be guiding you

You have to believe we are magic
Nothin' can stand in our way
You have to believe we are magic
Don't let your aim ever stray
And if all your hopes survive
Your destiny will arrive
I'll bring all your dreams alive
For you

From where I stand
You are home free
The planets align so rare
There's promise in the air
And I'm guiding you

Through every turn
I'll be near you
I'll come anytime you call
I'll catch you when you fall
I'll be guiding you

You have to believe we are magic
Nothin' can stand in our way
You have to believe we are magic
Don't let your aim ever stray
And if all your hopes survive
Your destiny will arrive
I'll bring all your dreams alive
For you

Bonus points for anyone who knows this song, who sings it and where it came from without googling it. Any takers?? ;-)

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Shh!! Don't Tell...

It's not actually a secret, but it makes for an amusing story. I was watching the movie Be Cool with Kalohe last night. It has The Rock in it, so of course I simply had to watch it. He is, by far, my very favorite. I don't care whether or not he's a good actor...I think he's about the hottest man on the planet. He leads my Top 5 list by a pretty good margin and has for years.

I have always had a thing for big Polynesian men (or tall asian men as MOH and I call them) ;-) Though, any of the three of you who read here on a regular basis probably already knew that about me.

Anyway, in the movie, there is a scene where the Rock does something called the Samoan Slap Dance. It's a hula-type traditional dance and damn, does he look good doing it. So, I am watching and my Kalohe is, of course, commentating. I made mention of the fact that this particular movie is the only one of The Rock's movies that I don't currently own. (well, that and Doom now that it's out) That comment led to a discussion about The Rock's acting abilities...whether or not he has any. I quote, "Well, he's kinda lame and stupid, but he's a local boy, so I've gotta give him support. Ya gotta appreciate a local boy makin' good even if he's not a good actor."

My response: "Ummm...you don't watch The Rock because of his acting...ok, maybe you do...I don't. In fact, I don't care what he does...he can just stand there and periodically turn around and I'm down with that."

And then the Captain Obvious statement of the night: Damn pepe, you've got a thing for the Polynesians don't you!! I mean, you really like your local boys huh, Audrey.

Ummm....hello!! Where have you been?? Kalohe, don't tell me you are just now catching up with the class!! The fact that you are my magnetic north only mostly has to do with us...it certainly doesn't hurt anything that you're a big, pidgin-speakin', local boy yourself.

It is now the new running joke...anyone around me who has nothing to say will blurt out: "Newsflash!! Audrey likes her some Polynesians!" Gotta love your friends...well, and The Rock, of course.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Necesitan Oir Este Canta

I love this song. I've been playing it all morning...driving with the windows down...the sun shining in...nevermind that work is crazy; I am in a good mood.

"I Break Things" By Erika Jo

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Valentines

I usually boycott the traditional celebrations that take place today. I think it's just another marketing ploy (albeit an effective one) of the Hallmark Corporation to up their profits. However, I am in a good mood today; so instead of the cynical raving that you've most likely come to expect from me, I will take a moment to say something a bit different.

I want to use today as an excuse to tell the people I love just that. I LOVE YOU GUYS!!

You are fantastic friends, both in the real world and the blog realm. I am blessed to be surrounded by such caring, giving people.

I hope you all have a wonderful day knowing you are loved.

Oh, and another thing...it's officially G-ma Day!!! I pick them up from the airport at 10:30 tonight. :-) Yay me!

Monday, February 13, 2006

How Can One Piss Audrey Off? Allow Me to Count the Ways

I can be an intense person as most of you know; but generally, I am easy-going and pretty laid back. I don't let the little things get to me and I'm not particularly good at holding grudges. In fact, you can count the people I actually hate on one hand with fingers to spare. There are, however, a few things one should steer clear from unless the intention is to evoke my wrath. These items are (in no particular order, of course):

Never underestimate me or what I am capable of doing. Never assume that I am naive. My silence rarely indicates ignorance.

Do not lie about me and assume that I won't find out...I always do...

Do not put words in my mouth nor attribute attitudes to me that I don't hold. I have plenty of my own and no compunction about sharing them

Do not make me pay for someone else's mistakes. We all have baggage...but I am not responsible for yours

DO NOT confuse my forgiveness for weakness. I choose to forgive you because I love you; not because I don't know what you've done or continue to do.

I know there will be questions, there always are, and I love that ya'll actually love me enough to wonder. Yes this post was provoked, but please don't think for a second that I have added anyone to the hate list. I am upset and I am hurt and while this will pass...I am far too tough to let it get me down for long; I do currently feel as though someone cut the cord on my parachute after I jumped out of the plane...though perhaps it's what I needed to ensure that I don't even contemplate what I shouldn't.

MOH reminded me the other day that we don't ever want to be those people who are afraid to live life without a Plan B securely in place. I have never been that girl, and I am not about to start now. So, if a cut parachute is what it takes...then it's a small price to pay.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Meme of Thanks

Time to say thanks...just because it's nice to hear once in a while. So, in no particular order, you guys are awesome! (Rae, you rock!)

1. Joan
2. Rielle
3. Rae
4. Chrissy
5. Jason
6. Chad
7. Judy
8. Sgt. Hook
9. Bette
10. Laura

And the Peasants Rejoiced

I just returned from the vet's office. I wrote earlier about my oldest kitty, Junior. She has been ill for a few months and I was pretty sure that today i was going to have to have her put to sleep.

I am so happy to say that the results were far different than I expected. Not only is she still with me, but the vet thinks that she has a few more good years in her. The vet we use is a bit different than most vets. He uses some interesting and unique holistic techniques to diagnose and treat both animals and people.

I'll admit, when I first took my old Irish Setter to him 14 years ago, I was more than a little skeptical of his methods. But, in the intervening years, he has seen all of the animals in out vast menagerie and has taken excellent care of each one. So, if he says that Junior can have a good quality of life, then I believe it.

She does indeed have cancer, and a nasty bacterial infection that has sped the cancer's progression. She will be on antibiotics for a couple weeks and after that she will start some holistic treatments that are far less invasive than anything in conventional medicine.

Hopefully, she will get her energy back and can have another few years before the end. I am in such a good place right now...I think I found the only vet who could give me hope for my little Junior.

Thanks for all the good thoughts and concern. You guys are awesome!!

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Kokua a'u Akua

In the light of day, I may think better of this post and take it down...at this point, it's too soon to say. The words magnetic north come to mind.

Monday, February 06, 2006

Just Part of Life

Sometimes love means loss.

Doing the the right thing isn't always easy. Not that the previous statement is a newsflash to anyone. Before anyone gets upset or worried about my state of mind; rest assured, I am alright.

I did get some bad news today. My mom called to tell me that the time has come for my oldest cat to be put down. This has been a long time coming, but I don't think it ever gets easier. I've had Junior for about 12 years...she is fondly referred to as the pirate cat. She only has one eye...an injury sustained when she was just a tiny kitten. She is one of the best mousers we've ever had...an important skill for a cat who lives in a barn.

In recent years, her age has begun to show. It takes her longer to get up and down. When she gets sick it takes her longer to recover. She doesn't hunt as frequently and doesn't play with the dogs as much. She's been getting consistently sicker the last few months and I can't stand to watch her suffer.

So, Wednesday afternoon I will take her to the vet and see what he has to say. If she has a curable problem, then I will do whatever I need to; however, I think that he's going to tell me it's time to let her go. She just isn't herself anymore...if she had just slowed down, I wouldn't consider having her put to sleep...but I know her arthritis is really bad and I can't stand for her to be in pain.

I know that letting go is the right decision, but it's never easy. Sigh...she's been a good cat for a long time and now I owe it to her to not let her suffer. I just hate thinking about it.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

End of the Ride

A good friend told me not too long ago: "Maya Angelou said, When someone shows you who they are...believe them." She was talking about him but she was also talking about you.

You showed me time and time again who you are...I refused to believe. I know you. In many ways I know you better than you know yourself...I always have...in some ways you know me better than I do.

I tried everything I could think of to keep the beasts away. I sacrificed; I worked; I pleaded. I did everything you asked and many things you couldn't bring yourself to voice. You never needed to because I already understood.

You lost sight of me somewhere along the way...I never left your side but somehow I drifted into the blind spot in your soul. We got lost in the maze...the reasons are immaterial.

You said you had lost faith; I told you that I had enough faith for both of us. You said you were lost; I told you I would find you the way you had found me. You said that we had forever; I said I would wait.

For two years you have circled in close, only to run at the first sight of me. So, for two years, we have played shadow games...neither one of us able to get too close. You said you were afraid to hurt. I said I already knew the pain of loss.

The last time, I told you not to come back unless you could stay. I said that the carousel had to come to a halt. You had to either stay for the duration of the ride or you had to walk away. I let the decision be yours...you said it had to be. I agreed with you, as long as you understood that you couldn't have both.

You say you want a love for the centuries...you had one. You say you want someone who resides in your soul...you found her. You asked if this love could last. I told you that love this deep doesn't fade; sometimes it has to change, but it never disappears.

You ask me to show you who I am...I have...I always have. Maybe now you'll believe me.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Good Thing I'm Cute

Because sometimes I'm as dumb as a box of rocks.

Saturday night, at about 7:30-7:45, I had Grace and Mamacita with me in the car. We had just gone grocery shopping and were on the way home. I was about halfway across town when I saw a cop car flip around in the middle of the street and pull behind me.

About thirty seconds later I came to a stop at the intersection...as I was stopping, I had this sneaking suspicion that the cop was going to pull me over...so I ran through the checklist in my head:

I'm driving the speed limit

I signaled when i changed lanes

my tags are up to date

I didn't swerve around or anything

all passengers are wearing seatbelts

What am I missing??

Sure enough, as soon as I pulled through the intersection on the green light...on come the big lights... of course I pulled over immediately. I turned down the stereo and rolled down my window as I got my license ready. The cop walked over to my window and the following exhance ensued:

Officer: Ma'am do you know why I stopped you?
Me: No Officer I don't (and I really didn't)
Officer: You really don't know why I'm stopping you?
Me: No sir. I really don't.
Officer: Where are you coming from?
Me: from the grocery store, I'm just on my way home.
Officer: Ma'am, you really don't know why I pulled you over?
Me: No sir, I really don't (I'm starting to get annoyed and he looks like he's gonna laugh)
Officer: (in a sarcastic "you idiot" tone) Ma'am, you don't have your lights on.
Me: Ooops. My running lights were on...I guess I didn't notice.
Officer: Ma'am have you been drinking?
Me: No sir, apparently I'm just slow. The street was lighted and I didn't notice. But no sir, I haven't been drinking.
Officer: umm...ok then. How about you turn your lights on now. And ma'am...drive safely.

ummm....I said "ooops". That should totally count. Did I mention that Grace and my mom are laughing their asses off this entire time. But did either of them notice we were driving without lights??? I thought not.

Somedays I wonder how I am let out in public...

Musings of an Empress