True American Heroes
I was reading over at Sgt. Hook's place earlier today and I came across this post. It got me to thinking and remembering...It brought back childhood memories of a neighbor of my parents named Robert. His father was a China Marine and Robert was an army man himself. His father was long gone by this point, but he used to tell me stories of his time overseas and of his father's. His father (Robert Sr.) survived the Battan Death March and time as a POW. His words instilled a deep respect in me from a very young age. It also helped me understand my own grandfathers' experiences. One of my grandfathers was in the Army Air Corps and then career Air Force. He was in WWII and Korea. He's seen some pretty horrific things in his life and he's always been very tight-lipped about his experiences. He served at Guadalcanal and to this day can't go to the beach...he doesn't see ocean and sand. Because of Robert's stories and my own reading, I managed to learn enough to be able to ask my grandfather specific questions...questions he sometimes even answered. I wish I knew more about him and his life, but he still keeps that whole time very close to himself. He's of the generation that was taught that whatever they did or saw should just be put behind them. He once told me that in truth, no one wanted to hear what he'd been through. It's taken all my life so far to help him understand otherwise. He's still plagued by demons past. I remember that when Saving Private Ryan came out, I went to the theatre with my mom to watch it. I sobbed through most of the movie and immediately after it ended, I called my grandpa. I just wanted to hear his voice and to tell him thank you and that I loved him. It took him completely by surprise and he broke down just a little. But it was good for him to know that I care and I think his stories and experiences are important.This line of communication expanded a bit when Clark was deployed. My grandpa took an active interest in what was going on with Clark and how he was faring. It was the only time in my life that my grandpa actually asked me if there were any questions I had about deployment. He wouldn't say too much, but what little insight he did share I hold very dear. I actually always saw a lot of my grandpa in Clark...right down to the same flashing eyes and the stubborn set to the jaw when they've decided to dig in their heels...unforetunately, they share the same demons as well. I just hope Clark doesn't keep the pain so close for as long. As for my grandpa, his is a sad story and far too common, but there is hope. Slowly, year by year, his walls are coming down. He allows himself the emotions that he kept bottled for more than 50 years. I know he'll never shake free completely, and that's okay. At least he's learning that other people have forgiven him...and perhaps someday, he'll be able to forgive himself.
No Dull Days
Today has been interesting, to say the least. When I woke up this morning, I had no idea what this day would hold...so here we go: I went to work since today was a day ending in "y" and as soon as 5 o'clock struck I raced over to the fire station. Our cadets were volunteering to be victims for an EMS drill so we had to get them all made up with their wound simulations. The career firefighters had a meeting at 6...the kids got there at 5...that doesn't leave much room for error. We were most of the way done with getting the kids ready. The last one was in the chair for make-up. Dad was applying the fake blood and I was putting the finishing touches on another cadet. Across the table from me I saw this kid start to lean over in his chair...then a dazed moan escaped his lips. {great, he's gonna have a seizure} then he tipped all the way off of his chair and slammed into the concrete floor of the apparatus bay...and he just layed there... {well, he's not having a seizure, that's good...he's just unconscious...not so good} Dad immediately controlled C-spine and he and Daniel brought the cadet around. I gathered all the other cadets to keep them out of the way. As Dad began to check B's level of consciousness, Daniel went inside the station to tone out the engine...it's hard to keep a straight face when you hear: "Engine 3, medical aid...on the app floor." Soon the area was swarming with firefighters...three crews in all. That's a total of 15 EMTs including myself. It took a while for B to get his bearings and since his blood pressure was so low and he hit his head pretty good, we called the ambulance. When the paramedics arrived we still hadn't been able to get in contact with his parents, so they asked me to ride with him. I got one of the chiefs to watch my other cadets until I got back and off I went with the ambulance. The crew was excellent...one of the better crews I've seen in quite a while. We were diverted from the local hospital to another one about 15 minutes further away, foretunately B wasn't critical...transport was really more precautionary. We arrived at the second hospital and I told the story for the fifth time, this time to an admit nurse. I stayed with B until his father finally arrived. Now, I was more than a little nervous to face his parents. Let's go through the list: - I'm almost 25, but when I'm in a hoodie and street shoes I pass for a high schooler
B is one of our newest cadets...he's only been with us for three weeks the first contact his dad is going to have with me (the responsible adult) is at a hospital did I mention that we made his son pass out at the sight of fake blood??? I've had bad experiences with over-protective parents when there wasn't anything wrong with their child...I must add that this is the first cadet we have sent to the hospital in ten years. Anyway, his dad arrived adn was completely relieved to see that B was alright, just dizzy and in recovery. I put on my most grown-up expression and introduced myself. His dad was just very gratefult hat we had taken good care of his son and that I had actually accompanied him to the hospital. (Like we would just leave our kids to fend for themselves??) I explained to the dad what had happened (this would be explanation number 8...not that i'm counting). His response? "Well, I guess he must me genetically predisposed." huh?? What do you mean? "Well, the first time I helped his mom (who is an emergency vetrinarian) with a patient, I fainted dead away too." and then he laughed and said, "I'm sure B will be just fine. Thanks again for looking out for him" That's it?? Awesome!! After that, I went back tot he ambulance and hung out with the crew while they finished their reports and then they took me back to the fire station. I did have the rest of my cadets to watch after all. I arrived back at the station about an hour after I left...just in time to watch the remainder of my cadets, gory and bloodied for the drill, be "rescued from the fray" or at least that's what passsed for rescue in that joke of a program. Whew...it's been one eventful evening. My phone has been ringing almost off the hook with people wanting updates on B. The story count is up to 18...not including you lovely people. Wonder what tomorrow will bring...
I'll show you what i can be
Yeah, I'm feelin' this...
Prison gates won’t open up for meOn these hands and knees I’m crawlin’Oh, I reach for youWell I’m terrified of these four wallsThese iron bars can’t hold my soul inAll I need is youCome please I’m callin’And oh I scream for youHurry I’m fallin’Show me what it’s likeTo be the last one standingAnd teach me wrong from rightAnd I’ll show you what I can beSay it for meSay it to meAnd I’ll leave this life behind meSay it if it’s worth saving meHeaven’s gates won’t open up for meWith these broken wings I’m fallin’And all I see is youThese city walls ain’t got no love for meI’m on the ledge of the eighteenth storyAnd oh I scream for youCome please I’m callin’And all I need from youHurry I’m fallin’Show me what it’s likeTo be the last one standingAnd teach me wrong from rightAnd I’ll show you what I can beSay it for meSay it to meAnd I’ll leave this life behind meSay it if it’s worth saving meHurry I’m fallin’
A Little More Information
I talked to g-ma the other night. She is doing alright all things considered. She is tired and and her spirits are really low; but she is trying. I told her I was coming to see her and I even had dates for her...she sobbed. Then we talked about life. She is ready for me to plan her next trip out here. This time it will be for six weeks or two months...if it were solely her choice it would be for six months; but that is beside the point right now.She told me that g-pa had decided to take the medicine. He started last week and so far no major side effects. He's feeling ok and g-ma won't let him sit around to feel sorry for himself. She told him he has to keep moving around so that he isn't feeble when I get there. (He hates being called feeble...g-ma knows what buttons to push) ;-) Anyway, after I talked to them, g-ma put my nieces on the phone...we giggled and talked about the day and planned a slumber party for the next time I come back to see them. They don't know that I will be there in less than two months. I promised to talk to their mommy to make the arrangements for the sleepover. As the oldest told me, "Audrey,mommy usually tells me 'no' but I think if you asked her, she probably might say it's ok. So you do the talking to mommy, k?" At this point the little one chimes in with giggles, "we're going to have a slumber party with Audrey, and it'll be fun!"I miss my girls. They used to live next door to me and I spent every single day with them. I took them just about everywhere I went. And now, well they are growing up so quickly and I feel like I'm missing it all. Ah well, I get to see them shortly. I am getting so excited about the prospect of seeing them all. So, to recap: g-pa is doing alright and hopefully the meds will keep the cancer in check. G-ma is exhausted, but her spirits are lighter than they've been for a while. And my little ones totally rock!!
After the Rain
***Caution, the following post is stream of consciousness...don't expect it to all make sense. Just getting all the words out was cathartic***
Or rather, between the rain storms. That's where I am at this precise moment. I have started about ten posts this last week. I haven't been able to finish a single one. I can't seem to find the right words. This is supposed to be my outlet...the place I can write anything and everything. But it feels lately, that I can't be completely forthright. I hate that. It's not me. My emotions are in turmoil these days...I can't slow them down long enough to analyze them...though it's probably better this way. The sun is shining and it is a beautiful sight. I wish I could focus on that...other than the sunlight, today is completely a Monday.You'll see the sun appear to light the way
Only after the rain
Can you hope to find true love again
He never really loved you from the start
The only thing he ever gave you was a broken heart
Come on and take my hand and I'll pull you through
You know the time has come for you to face the truthI wonder about that sometimes...how much of it was true? How much of it was just to have someone? I don't let myself get pulled in too far...I can't, he still calls periodically to say he misses me and wants to see me...blah, blah, woof, woof. Same old story different day. We went over it all again this weekend. It confounds him that I no longer drop what I'm doing for him.I can understand that confusion...at the same time, I shake my head in wry amusement...I told him exactly what I would do. I even asked him this weekend when we talked: "Have I ever once done anything contrary to what I told you I would do?"The answer: "No Audrey you haven't; you've always done exactly what you said. You have kept every promise you made."Then believe me when I tell you. It's not so complicated. I am tired of people asking over and over again for me to tell them who I am. You want to know? Stop asking and start listening. I'm no good at games. I say what I mean. Do I sometimes cage my responses? Yeah, at times, but only when to speak more plainly would be to invite more trouble than either of us need.I'm feeling a bit evil and vindictive today...after the last 48 hours, it would be hard not to. Clark sent me a mass forward this week...quite apropos actually; it asks a series of questions based on "what if I was your boyfriend/girlfriend (as the case may be)" The point is to fill it out and send it back to the person so they can understand more about how you are in relationship and I suppose to find out if you "have a crush" on the person who sent it to you. It's rather juvenile...however, there are some questions I would love to answer for him.It would go something like this: If we were together...
would i regret it? I don't know, you tell me.
would you love me? I still do
would u listen to all my problems and help me solve them? Umm, again, you call me at 3am to listen to you.
would you take me anywhere special? That would require you showing up sometime when you say you will
If someone tried to fight with me infront of you what would you do? Step in between and diffuse the situation, just like I always did...remember Tacoma???
If i cheated on you would you take me back? Well, I did...more than once...though it appears we reached the limits of my understanding...
If i said i loved you would you say it back? By this point, even people who don't know us know that answer...So there you have it...I kinda feel better getting that onto "paper". There is so much more to write on so many different fronts. There are three men in my world who are kryptonite to me. For the kids who are new to the class, those three are Clark, Kalohe and JD.That said, I had interaction will all three of them this weekend. I was definitely on hot man overload. ;-) Beyond that, my emotions are all kinds of confused and fucked up right now. I have now officially written a novella (except that all this is true) so I should probably get some work done this morning. There is much more swirling through my head...we'll see how long it takes me to get more of it out.
Worthy Writing
Ok ya'll, I'm busy in the office today and my mind is heavy besides. That said, there isn't much intelligible thought emanating from my lips today. Foretunately, not all share in my plight. The lovely lady, Judy is off to Texas.Also, the wonderful and talented Joan has emerged from her illness long enough to shed some much needed light on some ill-planned statutes so go by and wish her a speedy recovery.Then, please, go see what Jack Army has to say. And, when ya'll are done nodding your agreement, check out his awesome pictures of beautiful Hawaii. Thanks Jack! You rock!Ok ya'll, back to work for me. I will hopefully have more time tomorrow. Maybe I won't be the only one here at work. (hey, I'm all about dreaming today)look here:
for the record, I am more than a little jealous that this is where Kalohe would go when he cut school...we only had empty fields here
Blogger sucks
SO, I know I blog in the ghetto. I don't really enjoy it, but what can I do? It's the home I've got, so I try to make it as pretty as possible and call it good. Anyway, the reason I'm bringing htis up is that I have had so many posts get fuckered up by Blogger this week. I have gotten into the habit of copying everything I write before I post; so foretunately I haven't lost anything recently. However, Blogger has been down twice this week when I had something to post...I get so annoyed!! But, how annoyed am I allowed to be when the whole thing is free? So, i bitch and moan but I'm not gonna stop blogging because of it. Anyway, to end this rant...I tried for 48 hours to post the post that follows this.
Blessed
I have been blessed And I feel like I've found my way I thank God for all I've been given At the end of every day I have been blessed With so much more than I deserve To be here with the ones That love me To love them so much it hurts I have been blessed I am truly at a loss for words over the outpouring of love and support I have received since I posted about my grandfather. I deeply appreciate each and every one of you. Last night i recieved a phone call that wasn't as unexpected as it should have been. It was someone very dear to me, calling to explain that since we both believe in the concept of "pay it forward" I needed to listen to her and not argue. Long story short, the biggest obstacle facing me in getting to Tennessee is which days I want to take off from work. I know it's very important to my grandfather that I see his house while he's still in it; so right now I am thinking about taking a week at the end of April to go see he and my g-ma. I am not allowed to say thank you or make a big deal about this gesture. But, the truth is, I am blessed beyond all reason and explanation by the friends I have in my life. I love you all and don't know where I would be without you. I will keep ya'll updated on the entrire situation. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers. And thanks for lettin' me pay it forward too. L&L to MOH.
Treasure the Time
My mom stopped by my house this morning as I was getting ready for work. It appears that my grandfather's bone cancer has returned. They found out on Monday. His PSA count went from .4 to 7.5...that's very bad. This cancer is aggressive and difficult to treat. The medication that has been recommended is fairly effective, at most. The best outcome they could potentially reach would be for him to take this medication and if it works, then the cancer is at bay but it will destroy his liver. My grandfather is 77 years old and has been fighting various cancers for the last ten years. He has opted to not take the medication, but rather to be as comfortable as possible and enjoy whatever time he has left. He has already lived two years beyond the doctors' outside figures from the last round of bone cancer. He is at peace with his decision; so is my g-ma. She says that they've had 55 good years together and since the doctors told her she would be lucky to keep him for six months (two and a half years ago) that everything now is just icing. Most of us support the decision my grandparents have made. If grandpa and g-ma can be at peace about this; then we have to try as well. Personally, I made peace with losing my grandfather the first time the bone cancer appeared. I will miss him, yes; but I don't want to see him suffer and I know that this cancer, in particular brings with it excruciating pain. My grandfather is certain of his future and death has never frightened him...that said, I hope I get the chance to see him again before he passes. There are contingents of the family who are badgering him to take the medication, go through the chemo again...do everything medically possible. They refuse to accept that my grandfather has made his decision and that, in the end, it is his decision to make. They are causing a ruckus, as per usual...it's like they can't stand for any event to not revolve around them...not even my grandfather's illness. It sickens me. I am staying as far out of it as I can...I have a lot of words about this subject, but none of them will promote family unity, so I will attepmt to keep my mouth shut, at least to the family. My g-ma has gotten so old in the last few months that it breaks my heart. My grandfather's health and the dicord on that side of the country have taken a toll on her. I am looking to find a way to go back there for a little while, to stay with them and hopefully give g-ma some light...I know she looks to me when she needs more light.
Just Feel Better
***UPDATE*** ok, so this update is actually for the post below, but I wanted to give all five of my regular readers the opportunity to see this. Dear friend, Dale posted this article on the passing of Mrs. Julie Moore, one of the greatest Army wives of modern times. The article is a couple years old, but I thought it was still important enough to share. She was definitely one of the good ones.
Today is one of those days when I just can't seem to get going in any meaningful way. I am back at work after another of my all-too-common 36hr migraines. The workload isn't too crazy today...which, by the way is a good thing since I am still working reception in addition to my own job. I had a case this morning that should have taken me an hour and a half or so...three hours later I finally finished it. Oy I hate when my brain doesn't work at full speed. I could so go back to sleep right now. My body crashed out and I have been capable of sleep!! Yay!! I'm gonna go with this for as long as I can...it will only last another day or so I'm sure.Anyway, I have been listening Bob Marley and Santana this morning...they always make the day a little less grey. So here's a little Santana for ya...with Steven Tyler for the bonus. :-) "Just Feel Better" By Santana
A Bit Better
Last night's movie of choice was We Were Soldiers, a movie that always makes me cry but it excellently filmed and acted. I still cry at three separate scenes every time I watch; but that's ok by me. I think it's healthy to still be affected by tragedy, I don't ever want to become hardened and cynical. The point of this post is that unlike the previous war movie this one has a wonderful portrayal of what most of the silent ranks looks like. These were strong, loving women who supported their soldiers and each other...through the good times and the bad. It was my experience that the Silent Ranks really do stick together...we came from very different backgrounds, beliefs and politics; but when it came to our soldiers, there was nothing that split us apart. I have women in my life that I consider family...some are closer than sisters yet we've never met face to face. That's what a deployment does, it brings people together who normally wouldn't have given more than the time of day to one another.I am not advocating deployments as a means to friendship...but what i am saying is that there is a lot more to the women who comprise the boots on the ground than what is normally shown. This movie does a much better job of showing that than most I've seen.For the record, there were no fights during this movie...only sporadic pieces of trivia and history. Which, in my mind, is a much better outcome.
Dredging up Doubt
Last night Kalohe and I watched Jarhead. The movie was well done. I really want to read the book that Anthony Swafford wrote (yes i know that i'm lame because I haven't read it yet). I heard him speak a few years back shortly after I got out of high school.Anyway, watching the movie brought back some very unpleasant memories from Clark's deployment. THe portrayal of all the wives and girlfriends back home was sickening. Every single one of the (except for the very pregnant wife of one marine) was shown as a Barracks bunny or other disgusting creature. This post isn't going to turn into a drawn-out rant about Jody's whores, I don't have the time or energy for that full-blown discussion. Besides, the Service Girls and I already tackled this issue a number of times.But watching Jarhead did remind me of all the bullshit that went on during Clark's deployment. He and I never had issues while he was gone (once he got home was a different story...but that isn't the point right now.) but I did field many questions from other guys in his platoon regarding the faithfulness of their significant other. It's a very uncomfortable position to have to confirm to a guy in a warzone that yes, his wife/gf/etc is indeed cheating on him. The scenes involving the Jody's whores sparked a discussion between Kalohe and myself. There is one scene where the main characters are looking at the Wall of Shame where all the cheating wives/girlfriends's pictures are displayed. I made a comment about the whole situation being fucked up. Kalohe then commented, "Well, that's just how it is." I said nothing but I'm sure my body tensed up with all the things i wasn't saying. Kalohe then added, "well, to some extent I guess."Me: "Yeah, to some extent that's how things are. But it's not a majority."Kalohe: Girl, that's the way of the world. Females back home cheat.Me: You might wanna rephrase that. Not all girls back home cheat. Some do, and unfortunately they make the rest of us look bad.Kalohe: Yeah well a lot of them do. And even if they aren't, that's all the guy is gonna think about.me: That's his choice, of course. But there are doubts on both sides, that's part of every relationship.Kalohe: But it's worse for the guy. He's a warzone and he's got people telling him that his girl is cheating.Me: Kalohe, you're trying to tell me that it's the girl's fault that people tell her soldier (or marine as this case happened to be) that she is cheating...whether she is or not? That doesn't even make sense. It's not easy for either person. But it's still up to the individual to decide whether to believe the rumors or to believe their significant other.Kalohe: See that's why you can't have a wife or girlfriend if you're going to be in the military.Me: WHAT?? Of course you can. It's tough, yes...but no relationship is easy. But yes, you can have a relationship...and they can even last through a deployment.Kalohe: No you can't Audrey, it's too hard. The guy has enough to worry about without spending all his time worrying about what's going on back home.Me: Don't try to tell me it's too hard. I know how hard it is. But don't tell me it can't work. It can and it does. And for those guys who have a committed relationship, their deployment is actually easier to deal with because they know that they have support from home.Kalohe: Audrey, I know you were faithful and I know that you experience is where this is coming from; but it's too hard.Me: Kalohe, yes, I was faithful. So were most of the girls I knew...we waited and supported and lived through our own hell. But in the end, it's worth it. That's what matters most. Nothing is perfect, and no relationship is without it's problems or doubts...but you have to be willing to work through it and have faith...tempered with reality but faith all the same.Kalohe: I know that I couldn't have a girlfriend or wife if I was in the military...it wouldn't work. I couldn't live with the doubt.Me: That is your choice. But it's not always as bad as the movies portray it. We pretty much got silent after that...the whole thing fucked with my head. Kalohe has been talking a lot lately about joining the military. But my spin out was only partially about him...it was so much deeper than that. So many events flashed through my mind...things I hadn't thought about in years...the whores in Clark's unit...the gossip of the FRG...putting my hand into a brick wall...phone calls from half a world away asking for confirmation or denial regarding both parties...oy...it was a long night.Thanks TG for listening...I had quite a bit of venting to do. It breaks my heart that Kalohe has had such negative experiences in the past...he's never not had his trust broken...that's what happens when you pick up gutter rats. He's slowly learning that we aren't all like that. Man, do I know how to pick them or what??
Life's Too Long to Live It Like a Country Song
I’m waitin’ on the sun to set'cause yesterday ain't over yetI started smoking cigarettes,there’s nothing else to do I guessDusty roads ain't made for walking,spinning tires ain't made for stoppin’I’m giving up on love 'cause love’s given up on meI gave it everything I hadand everything I got was badLife ain't hard, but it’s too longto live it like some country songTrade the truth in for a lie,cheating really ain't a crimeI’m giving up on love cause love’s given up on meForget your high society,I’m soakin’ it in KereosneLight ‘em up and watch them burn,teach them what they need to learn. HA!Dirty hands ain't made for shakin’,ain't a rule that ain't worth breakin’Well I’m giving up on love cause love’s given up on meNow I don’t hate the one who leftYou can't hate someone who's dead.He’s out there holding on to someone,I’m holding up my smoking gunI’ll find somewhere to lay my blamethe day she changes her last nameWell I’m giving up on love cause love’s given up on meWell I’m giving up on love
HEY love's given up on me!
I'm not about to set anything (Or anyone) on fire but I am really feelin' this song these days. I am completely over with my Clark drama. I honestly don't care what he says or does anymore. I finally had the chance to prove it to myself...which is really all that matters when it comes down to it.
Oh, and I talked to JD yesterday. I really miss him. I know that things have to be this way, but it makes me a little sad. I truly miss him...sigh. Things should be getting better for him in the next few months, so perhaps that will carry over to us as well.
Remember a few months ago I wrote about the case work I was doing that might end up being important? Turns out I was right...more right than I knew at the time. It's finally time for some justice in JD's professional life. I worked on a case that is going to a hearing...'bout time this happened. I have a good feeling about it...everything I read says that JD has the statutes on his side. And coupled with other recent developments around this town...I think only good can result from this.
Sorry for the vagueness of the entry...I can tell all as of April 30th. I can't wait!! It's only 55 days from now. Despite my somewhat jaded view of love at the moment, my faith in life and justice has been restored a bit.
Some Days Are Just Batty
So today is my first day back to work. I was out all of last week...which is pretty unusual for me. I rarely take more than one sick day in a given week. But, since this cold or flu or whatever it was knocked me on my arse, I had little choice. So, here it is March 6th. The last time I sat at my desk was February 24th...that seems so long ago! I had to remind myself about parts of my routine where I was already out of practice. So, I know include a few observations I made shortly after my arrival:
- there were several keys on my keyboard that had been switched...d, s, 8 and 9 still are.
- There are pictures of people on my desk that I don't know
- My calendar read April
- Fezzik's tank has been rearranged
- My army bear was being serviced by the other bear who lives on my computer
As if this wasn't enough excitement, FG and I had a bat in our room today. Cute, little, furry, grey guy...so scared and creeping all around the room. We were locked out of here for about an hour while we waited for animal control to take care of it.
So, all morning we've been running around quoting Batty Coda of Ferngully fame.
Humans don't have tails. They have big, big bottoms that they wear with bad shorts. They walk around going, "Hi, Helen".
AH! HUMAN! Yes! Yes! Kill it! Restrain it! Medicate it! Something! Puff up! Puff up! They hate that!
Never a dull moment around this office...and it's only Monday...
Alive
I am pleased to report that I am alive. It seemed touch and go for a few days but I did indeed survive. Ok, so I'm being a bit dramatic...but not much...just ask MOH. Anyway, thank you all for your concern and well wishes while I was ill.
I am still not at 100% but I am back at work...thank God. I hate being gone for so long...I feel far too disconnected. Plus I lose track of the days which always ends up causing me grief. Anyway, I am trying to get caught up on everyone else's lives now.
Out of Commission
I have been sick for the last six days. It's getting old...I'm not a good patient and I hate feeling so weak. I haven't been to work all week. I just kicked my fever last night.
Top 5 Accomplishments of my week:
1. Taking showers and not passing out
2. Getting dressed without pausing for a nap
3. Making it from my room upstairs to the couch downstairs without tipping over
4. Responding to the most vital work emails between naps
5. Playing one game of cards with my grandparents
I'm not whining...but if I haven't returned your calls, emails, texts or smoke signals....this is why. I will get to you when I get to you. Do not hunt me down. I am trying to recover. Thank you. I am going back to bed now...my hour of alertness has passed. Good night
